It is a Kids World

On this June 1st the International Children’s Day is celebrated worldwide. Everyone talks about protection, childcare, rights… And I decided to imagine a Kid’s World – what would the kids talk about in the Social Networks and Media. Which topics would they choose for their posts, themes, comments, forums and tweets:

“My parents are trying to feed me cauliflower: how should I react?”

“No poop for just 2 days, how to escape laxative, enema, etc.?”

“SOS!!! Mom sleeps through the whole night!”

“Check out new Chico Polly chair!”

“I am not allowed to tear wallpaper!”

“How to sneak up on a cat?”

“Going to the district hospital. Top 20 lies about the doctors”

“They want me to be asleep by 9 pm. Help”

“My nude back cheeks photos online. How to fight it?”

“Vacation on the beach. Is it worth it to take your parents with you?

“Why the pack of napkins is just enough to cover only half of the room and where your mother usually keeps another pack?”

“What abilities should your mom have at 27 years?”

“Who has tasted that Johnson Baby ointment ? I really want to , but need more info …”

“Eat milk separately from the mother – is that possible?”

“Do they  kiss you in your back cheeks?”

“Urgently recommend some speech pathologist for Grandma”

“How many phones have you sucked? Which one tasted better?”

“How to learn to sleep without letting mom’s breast fall out of your mouth? Each time I sleep  – it falls!”

“Offered Services: Artistic blur of porridge in the face”

“My mom’s nose is not elastic. Is this normal?”

“Help! My hair GROWS!”

“Most cutest sleeping positions – touch everyone’s heart”

“Mom just knocks her fingers on the keyboard, or does it means something?”

“Who had the same situation – Mom howls something and disturbs my sleep”

“What should I eat to poop purple?

“Bunny, baby, honey, sunshine, pussycat, sweetheart, sweety … which one is your  real name?

“No hair grows on Dad’s head. Is this rickets?”

“For me – carrot puree, and for herself – chocolate. Where is the justice?”

“Where’s the nose? Where’s the eyes? … As if they  themselves do not know that??”

“My mother has a very inflated stomach. Is it critical?”

” A cry from the heart: Cat is given more tasty food! And all attempts to establish the justice are severely suppressed, why?!”

“The survey for infants: What would you like your mother to eat at New Year’s Eve”

“I’m tired of my mom’s breast, I want to try out Daddy’s. Has anyone tried?”

“How to get rid of hair on my father’s chest? Tearing out makes him cry. Advise painless way!”

“I had enough food already!!!!! How to explain this to the parents?”

“Need your financial support: we do not have salt and sugar. Each day eating plain oats cereal. Sick of it”

“Itsy-Bitsy Spider … Mary had a little lamb … And what is the creative potential of your parents?”

“Why does my sister show me her tongue and makes faces all the time. Low cultural level?”

“Help!My new diaper makes me look fat! Advise a normal model!”

“Suck breast and finger at the same time. Maximalism?”

“Eviscerate the laundry box, ruin the flower pots, bathe toys in the toilet: how else to entertain mommy?”

“Why the cats don’t like me?”

“Why should I build a pyramid with that plastic cubes??”

“Need an instruction to disassemble vacuum cleaner!”

“Does the phrase – here comes the plane! – always mean new crap in your mouth?”

“Weeping Technique – from complaints to a whim.”

“My mother has already found me a husband. What should I do?”

“5 brides. How much should have  a decent man ten months old?”

“I am on Facebook!”

“The first trip out to the external world. Whole truth about this horror.”